Photo: Me (pre-SCAD) with my son Wesley and dog Cosmo. We're at the Height of Land in Rangeley, Maine. Doesn't matter how old your kid is, if the wind is blowing, you have the mom grip around his waist so he doesn't fly off the cliff!
I read SCAD stories with the eye of an English teacher and the mind of a writer. I have read too many on the SCAD Survivors Facebook page and elsewhere online. Each story seems to have a strikingly similar main character with the same internal dialogue. She is a strong female, she is conscientious, she has always taken care of her health and she takes cares of others. Her words are the same. “Out of the blue,” “All of a sudden,” “I never thought this could ever happen to me” or simply, "Why?"
The expositions all seem to have the same elements. The main character is involved in a productive life. Her career is at its peak, she is involved in her community and stepping into the the wisdom of middle age. Or maybe she has just brought a healthy baby into the world, is tending a home, building a career, and running half- marathons. She hikes or kayaks or gardens or does yoga. She eats kale chips. She loves her dog. In a nutshell, she is a vibrant woman living life. Then, plot twist. Her heart breaks.
If our SCAD stories were works of fiction, Maine author Stephen King would applaud. In his book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, King shares the formula for creating stories that have impact. He advises fiction-writers to use the power of situation over plot “because our lives are largely plotless even when you add in all our reasonable precautions and careful planning.” And so, to make a story with impact, King says the writer takes an ordinary setting, throws in a startling situation, then asks “what if” questions: “What if vampires invaded a small New England village? (Salem's Lot). What if a young mother and her son became trapped in their stalled car by a rabid dog? (Cujo).”
What if a healthy 47-year-old woman is standing in her kitchen, minding her own business, and her heart blows up? (My story).
We have lived our own horror stories. It takes a very long time to process that. In the living there has been trauma and pain but we have lived. Survived. The character has become brave because there is no other choice.
I am beginning this blog for all SCAD survivors, and for those whose lives are otherwise involved in it, as a place to open my heart and connect with all of yours. So little (still!) is known about the causes of SCAD and too few SCAD patients get the correct initial treatment and ongoing support. Progress will come through speaking our stories out loud. Healing comes when we write new chapters, honor our hearts, and celebrate our lives.
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